Food and Talk

Last week at a dinner-party, the hostess asked me to sit next to Mrs Rumbold.
Mrs Rumbold was a large, unsmiling lady in a tight black dress. She did not even look up when I took my seat beside her. Here eyes were fixed on her plate and in a short time, she was busy eating. I tried to make conversation.
"A new play is coming to 'The globe' soon," I said. "Will you be seeing it ?"
"No", she answered.
"Will you be spending your holidays abroad this year?", I asked.
"No", she answered.
"Will you be staying in England?", I asked.
"No", she answered.
In despair, I asked her whether she was enjoying her dinner.
"Young man," she answered, "if you ate more and talked less, we would both enjoy our dinner!".



sumber: Practice and Progress

Am I All Right?

While John Gilbert was in hospital, he asked his doctor to tell him whethet his operation had been successful, but the doctor refused to do so.
The following day, the patient asked for a bedside telephone. When he was alone, he telephoned the hospital exchange and asked for Doctor Millington. When the doctor answered the phone, Mr Gilbert said he was inquiring about a certain patient, a Mr John Gilbert. He asked if Mr Gilbert's operation had been successful and the doctor told him that it had been. He then asked when Mr Gilbert would be allowed to go home and the doctor told him that he would have to stay in hospital for another two weeks. Then Dr Millington asked the caller if he was a relative of the patient. "No", the patient answered, "I am Mr John Gilbert".



source: Practice and Progress

One Man in a Boat

Fishing is my favourite sport. I often fish for hours without catching anything. But this does not worry me.
Some fishermen are unlucky. Instead of catching fish, they catch old boots and rubbish. I am even less lucky. I never catch anything - not even old boots.
After having spent whole mornings on the river, I always go home with an empty bag. "You must give up fishing!", my friends say. "It's a waste of time". But they don't realize one important thing. I'm not really interested in fishing. I am only interested in sitting in a boat and doing nothing at all!


source: Practice and Progress